Crouching Jen Hidden Toilet Roll - New Zealand

I bet you're all dying to hear the toilet report from New Zealand. No? Well I don't blame you, it's a fully flushing civilised country with few ablutional drawbacks. Although I must say, camp site facilities have certainly come a long way from when I was a kid. Gone are the breeze block sheds filled with daddylonglegs, and in their place you can experience home from home comforts, luxury even. Ok there are still the odd breeze blocks to be found, but add a splash of pink paint, fresh flowers, cloths to wipe down the basin, a radio playing, they're almost quite pleasant.

On my travels, staying in a different camp site nearly every night for 8 weeks, you get to sample pretty much everything the country has to offer. So in my considered opinion I have awarded the Bronze prize to a little independent camp site in Marahau on the outskirts of Abel Tasman National Park. A bit of a wild card but hear me out - while the facilites are pretty basic they do have the biggest and best designed shower. Some places think that it's ok to put a shower in a normal toilet-sized cubicle. Think about it, imagine you're there, how much room is there in your average cubicle? Not much. Now add water, coming at you from high up on the wall, a shower head that cannot be redirected in any way, perhaps water that is a bit blinkin hot because you only managed to turn one tap on before it hit you in the face... Now work out where your clean dry clothes and towel are supposed to go. Quite. Lesson number one: always take a large plastic bag with you. Marahau had a dressing area with a bench, dry floor and many hooks and adjoining shower room with an angle poise fully directional massive shower head dispensing a veritable waterfall. Now thats much more like it.

The Silver medal may have to be shared between two camps. On the one hand the private spa bathroom of Okahune was pretty special, but you did have to pay 5 dollars (about 1.85) for the use of, whereas the spa jacuzzi in a room off the ladies loos in Wanaka was free and bubbly but I did have to share with a couple of others. Oooh decisions decisions.

Anyway, Gold has to go to Christchurch Top Ten Holiday Camp. All I can say is they must be rolling in it, I mean, just look at the sinks...


Their piece-de-resistance are actual bathrooms that look like normal bathrooms you might find in a home; toilet, sink and shower in one actual room (not cubicle), central heating, wall tiles and bathmats... Bliss.

By the way, as a dedicated hour-long bather, I didn't think I'd take to showering in flip flops as much as i have done. And while I would still love to sink into hot bubbles, candlelight and a good book, I have come to appreciate a damn good shower when I see one. Showers vary quite a lot, I didn't realise this before. As a person of minimum reach I can only assume that the placement of shower heads is often left to very tall people - when combined with low water pressure it's like being dripped on from a great height. It's not great. Neither was the limescaled sprinkler which barely emitted a fine light spray. That reminded me of a comedy sketch by Peter Kay, you remember the one - Dinner ladies shouting "it's spitting, it's spitting" while rushing the kids back indoors cos as we all know 'that fine rain soaks you right through'. Only it doesn't.

So. There's nothing quite like the feeling of masses of water gushing at you all warm and lovely. Rinsing away all the cares of the world. Incidentally also theres nothing like the feeling of stepping out of the shower to find you didn't bring a towel. Lesson number two. The hard way.

Jen
xx