Crouching Jen hidden toilet roll, the dunny edition

Long before I set my dainty size three and a half's in the land down under, I was more than aware of its spider problem. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head. Whatever the size I happen to know for a fact that they are NOT more frightened of me than I of them. Anyway, what hadn't occured to me was how that would affect the toilet situation, down under, as it were. Luckily travellers are great ones for sharing tips. Which is how I came to spending my last two months in Australia gingerly lifting the toilet seat in search of red backs and other eight legged nasties. My chosen method of seat lifting was wad of toilet paper, although others I believe utilise a flip flop (thong in Aussie slang) which is then in prime position should swatting be required. Fortunately the only unnecessary spider I came across was in a jam jar on a trampoline, but thats another story.

For your benefit I tried out facilities in a variety of different settings to get a good feel for the place. Not a great deal to report. All bathroom facilities were thankfully free of wild life and contained the expected number of porcelain goods and industrial sized loo roll holders that refuse to dispense tissue without a fight. I did hear one interesting snippet of gossip about the toilets in the Crown Casino Melbourne - apparently they are a popular spot for suicides and they have a special back door so that bodies can be removed discretely. Which is thoughtful. They also don't have hooks on the back of the toilet doors to disuade people from hanging off them. I didn't witness any bodies in person but I can testify to the pleasantly scented soap.

Aussies are known for their forthright manner and direct approach. So it was fitting that it was in Australia that I came across the most unsubtly decorated toilet of the trip so far. It was at crocodile Harry's in Coober Pedy, middle of the outback and famous for Opal nuts and underground houses. Harry doesn't do subtle, and he also happens to have a sizeable collection of ladies underwear, mostly stapled to the ceiling.


Did I happen to mention that it was winter time in Oz right now? Well contrary to popular belief its not sweltering here all the time. It really isn't. In fact Melbourne in July is a bit like Reading in December. Down right chilly. Which is why I found it very odd that several of the Hostels have open plan facilities. In particular showers. Now I don't mean open plan as in showering in public, its more the fact that showers open straight to the outside world. I'm all for outdoor living and believe the concept of the 'outdoor room' in gardening terms is inspired, but we all know that shower cubicle doors don't actually enclose the area; there are massive gaps above and sometimes below. In Winter that means massive gaps to enable cold draughts to blow about your wet personage. Hello. Do they WANT backpackers to be smelly?

So on that ranting note I'll leave you. Actually I really didn't mean to rant. Despite being called dunnies I was quite pleased with the facilities all told. Perhaps I should add in something about the camping facilities on Fraser Island ( basically smelly but relatively clean), the fact that the ladies is often labelled 'Shielas' but the gents rarely 'Bruce', and there was also copious amounts of hot water to be had at both Mark and Trishy's house and Tyson and Jennas.

That brings us to the end of this country report. Thanks for reading another edition of Crouching Jen Hidden Toilet Roll from your host, Jen, lifting the lid on toilets world-wide.