Crouching Jen Hidden Hidden Toilet Roll - Singapore

Mention the far east and sooner or later you're bound to start thinking about squat toilets. You've heard tell of their existence and quite frankly they're all a bit foreign. Well for anyone that wants to come to South East Asia, but is a little bit concerned about the lack of Western conveniences - I'd say go to Singapore. Its like Asia for beginners.

With Singapore all the best bits of Asia are condensed onto one small island, theres fantastic food to be had, shopping galore, practically all the signs are dual language (so its easy to find the toilets) - its a real combination of East meets West. And that's not confined to the public places either - its extended to the most private of places too. The option of either western style seat OR eastern squat style toilets can be found in most outlets. And clean, clean, clean. Which is, I can assure you, a lovely thing in a toilet.

And If you don't believe me heres a quick photo....



Nice and shiny clean wasn't it? That was taken at the Night Safari which is a Zoo that you visit at night when the animals are awake, and a 'must see' if you ever happen to be in the area. Oh, were you expecting a picture of a squat toilet? Well I wouldn't want to disappoint anyone would I?



Now the more observant of you will notice that the East West approach doesn't stop there. In either style cubicle you can often find a tap for personal washing AND toilet paper - so you could pick and choose your method. I can't comment on the tap option right now as I'm much more familiar with toilet paper. The only problem is the enduring humidity in Singapore. With such high levels of humidity it is inevitable that any tissue paper will shrivel to a limp pathetic existence. If you've never thought about slightly damp toilet paper then you won't be aware that it tears easily and likes to cling to itself.You can only imagine the fun involved in getting more than one segment off the roll.

Now, for the female readers amongst us, can we all agree that visiting the ladies loos will inevitably find you joining a queue? No change here. However in Singapore I found there were often two queues in the ladies - one for each style of convenience, and generally speaking both of equal length as women went with what they were familiar with. I saw a young woman inadvertantly join the seat style queue and when it was her turn she backed out of the cubicle as fast as she went in, wrinkled her nose up, and joined the squat queue. So it works both ways.

Talking of two options brings me to the unexpected SINGLE option when it comes to water, in particular, showers. Folks, theres only one option for water temperature, and thats luke warm. I suppose technically speaking its cold water but with the high ambient temperature it actually comes out more tepid than you were expecting. Which is actually quite nice. A tepid shower was a rather nice compromise. Although seeing as for most of the time I was outrageously HOT, a nice cold shower was a pretty inviting thought . Besides all this, the refreshing feeling you get after showering is unfortunately not possible. The humidity levels are such that IMMEDIATELY (and by that I mean within a nanosecond) of switching the water off - your body heats up and the humidity ensures that you remain damp for the rest of the day no matter how much towelling you try to employ. The only way round it is to live in air-conditioned sanity or stay in the shower forever.

And that, my friends, is the low down on Singapore. I hoped you enjoyed it and will be reassured that your personal reporter is doing well, if a little damply, in South East Asia.