Jen and Col's Excellent Adventure

Friday, August 25, 2006

Crouching Jen Hidden Toilet Roll - The Tissues and Issues Issue

Malaysia. Malaysia. Malaysia. Where on earth are all your tissues? I've looked far and wide and can honestly say I'm perplexed about the whole thing. Of course this being a bathroom report we're thinking toilet tissues, but its not just that. There aren't any in the restaurants or cafes either. No serviettes snuggling cutlery, no dispensers on tables. It's plain odd.

Naturally the reason I've been noticing the lack of serviettes is precisely because there are no tissues in the bathrooms. Although there is usually a bin to place them in after use. Col has a theory that they don't give you any serviettes in case you do use them as toilet paper. Which may well be true. Although that IS a little paranoid don't you think. I tried asking a waiter for tissues once. He looked suspiciously at the spill on the table and was very reluctant to dip into his hidden stash to release a single inadequate sheet. Perhaps its an expense thing?

Well guys, I've had my first (of many) real cold shower. The water was not luke warm, it was cold. Actually cold. Actually lovely and cold. It helps if you're really hot before you shower. Like getting into a swimming pool on a hot summers day - the cooling waters take on a soothing property. Although it must be remembered that I am British. Have you ever stopped to watch different nationalities at the beach, its quite interesting. I know that most Brits abroad are a pasty white or lobster red colour - but its also easy to spot one merely by watching them go for a dip in the sea. Aussies tend to rush at the sea eager to catch a wave, French and Italians splash about having a lot of fun and everyone else seems to glide into the water swallowed head first without a ripple. Brits on the other hand mostly edge in one cm at a time, tentatively tiptoeing with each oncoming wave, and generally trying not to actually get wet. Thats the way I approach cold showers.

And now for a quick pic... taken at the Kancil guest house in Melacca...


Anyway, back to more practical matters. What to expect? Well first of all expect a hose. I think I mentioned the hose in the Singapore edition. It's still there, with dinky shower head attachment and jolly useful for making everything nice and clean - floor, walls, toilet - anything within hosing distance I'd venture. The floors all have drain holes in them so its also rather useful for cooling tired feet should you happen to want to do that too.

Also expect to see a large bucket filled with water and a handled bowl, a la...


What you can't see in this picture is a cistern for flushing, and thats because there isn't one. The purpose of the bucket is two-fold; If there is no hose then you 'should' scoop some water from the shallow bowl to 'wipe', then you take several more scoops of water to flush. Ingenious.

You know what? The curious thing is that I've quickly gotten used to this new way of life. It's nice to find a bathroom where the mirror is at my face level and the sink at just the right height. Ok, sometimes the whole room needs to be sprayed down with bleach, but it's been a few weeks now so my pockets are packed with handy andies and I've (almost) stopped noticing grout.

So come on Asia, bring it on, bring it on!

1 Comments:

  • Now, an interesting sidebar to your toilet discussions would be some stats on the prevalence of disease and infection attributable to poor hygiene. Do all these serviette-lite, non-flushing processes lead to hospital wards full of Malaysian bathroom victims?

    In the absence of any obviously superior system, I'll stick with my Armitage Shanks Turbo Deluxe v6.3 (now with iPod connectivity and full-width grill)

    By Blogger Tom, at 2:42 pm  

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